Ways to Communicate

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It is important to not just communicate with your spouse and family but there is a way to do it. When you have an issue with someone you should be ready to tell them what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want to see happen. I work with children i a school setting and we have used the “Bug and A Wish” concept. “It bugs me when…I wish you would…” But everyday conflicts need a little more discussion than that. Always begin your concerns with positive feedback and observations first. Use “I” statements as to be the owner of how you feel. Such as “I feel __ when ___. I want ___” This also alleviates people’s need to be defensive of your accusations, because to them that’s what your doing accusing them. Hold family meetings. You can see a great example of this on reality TV i.e. Run’s House on MTV. This is an opportunity for the parents to stand in agreement with an united front. Have the rules laid out, discuss, listen to eachother, and resolve issues brought up. You may have to table some things and you don’t want to turn a family meeting into a them vs. us feel either. Try to work out as much as you can in an appropriate time frame or agree to disagree until the next meeting is called. More positive discussion between family members can be done during meal times around the table when the family sits down to eat together. Get the calendar out and plan visits (if your a blended family). Be proactive at your time spent together. Create a family night or time where you interact doing positive activities such as game night or volunteering at a mission every other month or so. Consider adjusting your communication plans as needed but the most important thing is to COMMUNICATE. *As a member of a blended family, it is your job to be on the same page as the head of the family. Lead by example! Good luck!!

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